Principle 3: First Messages Are the Most Potent

Why try to be first? Let’s say someone was teaching your child the wrong way to spell or do math. You wouldn’t abandon your child to the wrong answers for years and then try to correct those erroneous habits after the fact. Then why do we let our kids learn about sexuality from secular society for years and then try to correct all that when they are thirteen? It is much more powerful and effective to provide your children with a solid and age-appropriate foundation from the start.

Remember also that if you do not talk to your kids about sex, your silence is not just an absence of information. Your silence in fact teaches your kids that Dad and Mom do not want to talk about sex and are probably not a good source of information about sex. You teach by silence that sex is shameful or secret, which will drive them to others for information.

By seizing the opportunity to teach them about sex, you communicate instead that you, the parents, are trustworthy resources for learning the truth about this most private and potent aspect of life. The children’s books in the God’s Design for Sex series are meant to provide “starter conversations” between you and your child. Reading them with your child opens up the topic, gets the words and ideas out on the table, and gives you a base from which to start.

Some content taken from HOW AND WHEN TO TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX, by Stan and Brenna Jones. Copyright © 1993, 2007, 2019. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. To purchase books in the GOD’S DESIGN FOR SEX book series, go to